Wise Counsel
As we wrap up this month on wise counsel, we are sharing excerpts from interviews of a group of veteran Relay Exchange moms. We asked them for advice about being in a group. We love drawing from the wisdom of this amazing community!
Question: What was the most meaningful aspect of your Relay Exchange group?
Answer: One of the most valuable aspects of being in a group was that the girls formed friendship bonds that crossed school social cliques.They were not necessarily in a group with their best school friends and they were able to develop vulnerable relationships outside the school environment, whether between different schools or within the same school but in different friend groups. This is important because it creates a safe space when girls have a tough time in regular classroom settings, and it also creates a support network for the girls that is a stronger bond based on shared faith, experience and loyalty.
Answer: Spiritual growth–the way the Lord has taught me through the other moms during our Bible studies, learning from the girls about their walks with the Lord during our Bible studies, and what He has taught me during my study and preparation for teaching the Bible lessons.
Answer: My daughter now has other moms to go to for wise counsel. It’s a lot more than a once a month Bible study.
Answer: I think the most valuable aspect is the way the time spent together in our Relay Exchange group was woven into the fabric of her childhood over a period of many years. The repeated decision to prioritize faith and time together became a part of who we are.
Answer: The consistent time with each of my daughters over the 8+ years of curriculum wherein we invested together in learning about Jesus, learning new practical skills and serving shoulder to shoulder.
Question: How did participating in a Relay Exchange group impact your relationship with your daughter?
Answer: It was good for my daughters to see moms do things outside of their comfort zone, whether it is teaching an unfamiliar skill, dancing in public, swimming in a lake when you never have, or speaking in public when it scares you. The girls saw us challenged and also saw us rise to the occasion, which set a powerful example for them in their own challenges.
Answer: It was a wonderful window to see my daughter's strengths and weaknesses amongst her peers. Various Relay activities and Bible studies enabled me to come alongside them and strengthen and encourage their gifts; and to see areas that I need to pray for the Lord's assistance to help her grow in weak areas- both spiritually and with various skills.
Answer: After completing the program, she can look back over all of the years in Relay Exchange together and know for certain I took the time to invest in her, in our relationship, and in creating a community for us. We had fun together, we made friends together, and we learned together. It was something that was just for her.
Answer: Participating created the consistent pattern of meeting in the little years which was foundational in the teen years and into adulthood. It also demonstrated the importance of time spent in our relationship, in the Word and with other moms and daughters following Jesus.
Question: What advice would you give to moms considering joining a Relay Exchange group?
Answer: Don’t join if you cannot commit, but if you do, it will be one of the most rewarding activities you will participate in with your daughter. It’s worth the level of commitment. And other than attending the monthly meetings, there is actually very little time commitment–even leading a meeting can require minimal effort.
Answer: You get out of it what you put into it. It’s not just another activity.
Answer: Do it! It is worth the time and commitment! God’s word doesn’t suggest that we teach our children His truths, but He commands that we “tell of His glorious deeds.” Relay Exchange has been one way for me to obey this command with sweet times of fellowship with other moms and precious, precious times with our daughters!
Answer: There are so many ways we can choose to spend our time. We have limited years with our girls, so we need to be intentional about how we invest our time with them. Some extracurricular activities are fun, others are focused on our relationship with Jesus, others build skills or create habits of service. Still others forge friendships. These are all important aspects of how we spend our time, and Relay Exchange bundles them all for us! It’s worth it and it has eternal significance.
Answer: Find some other moms who are really committed to pointing their girls to Jesus and want a strong circle of friends to lift one another up and encourage one another in their faith.
Question: What advice would you give to groups as they start this new school year?
Answer: Look at the calendar and set dates early. Prioritize gathering together.
Answer: Be committed to one another and protect the set time for Relay Exchange each month. The enemy will try to steal this time with so many distractions. You have to be diligent in fighting those temptations and honoring your commitment to the Lord, your daughter and your Relay Exchange group.
Answer: If you are a leader, delegate jobs! If you are a member, sign up for a job! Everyone is important to the health of the group.
Answer: Be intentional! Make a calendar with all of the dates, and all moms put the dates on their calendars now. As a group, discuss the importance of moms protecting that time on their daughters’ calendars. There will always be competition for time - even in the younger years and it only gets more as time goes on and schedules become more complex.
Question: What are some things you did that helped your group build community?
Answer: Have an overnight event early in the year and do it every year. It is a huge step to bonding with everyone, and it’s fun!! It’s worth the schedule juggling and the time. Just do it!
Answer: We went on outings in addition to Relay Exchange afternoons, including service projects such as visiting nursing homes, overnight trips, pool parties, dinners, Top golf, etc.
Answer: The social time each month along with a prayer journal we kept for our group so that we could all pray for one another during the month.
Answer: We did special outings like going to the Rock Ranch for an overnight in the covered wagons and fellowship dinners or swimming after a Relay Exchange meeting!
Question: What is the benefit of staying together through middle school?
Answer: Middle school is where this all starts to get real! It’s where you see the biggest challenges and the most fruit from all the time you have put into Relay Exchange. The girls are mature enough to have real conversations about real challenges and you can witness their comradery and encouragement to one another.
Answer: Understandably, it gets harder and harder as the girls get more active outside our homes, but middle school age girls are desperately in need of our attention as moms and our ability to point them to the comfort and security that can be found in their identity in Christ.
Answer: As girls age and start to become more independent, Relay Exchange remains the same–it’s a habit, it’s ingrained and it’s something you can continue to fully enjoy together through the middle school years.
Answer: You really want other moms in the middle school years who are following Jesus and trying to point their daughters to Jesus. It only gets harder and having a group which is safe and consistent can be invaluable.
Question: What would your daughter(s) say is her favorite aspect (or memory) of her years in Relay Exchange?
Answer: The overnight trips!
Answer: Making jam was her favorite skill and she always loved having hot cider at the gatherings on cold days after school.
Answer: Sleepovers at overnight trips and pool parties.
Answer: All the fun times we had together learning new skills and learning things from other moms in our group!
Question: Anything else you would like to share with our community?
Answer: I am so grateful and honored that I was asked to be in a Relay Exchange group years ago. I had no idea the blessings that would come from that invitation. I am so grateful for so many wonderful memories I have of fellowship with the moms and precious girls over the years. The Lord has taught me so much through Relay Exchange. I will be forever grateful [to Relay Exchange] for their vision and faithfulness to share God’s word to me and countless other moms and daughters.
Thank you to the moms who participated and shared your wisdom with us! We appreciate you!